Blue Christmas

winter-whistler

I’m in one of the most picturesque places in the entire world. The mountains are snow-capped, the trees are lit up with twinkling holiday cheer, everything is merry and bright… and I’m miserable.

I’m having a terrible holiday. My job is stressful but absolutely and completely ridiculous, my relationship is rocky at best, and I’m too broke, too tired, and too cranky all of the freaking time to spread any kind of holiday cheer.

Which sucks. Straight up blows. I love this time of year, even working constantly, struggling through the hours at work, head down ass up to put it bluntly. I love my job and what I do, but not right now.

I’ve eaten 22 chocolates out of my advent calendar, wrapped 9 presents, drank 6 cups of hot chocolate, had 3 holiday Starbucks presents, hung 2 stockings and 1 string of lights. And nothing makes me feel cheerful. Nothing makes me feel jolly.

I’ve even tried singing loudly for all to hear a la Elf style.

I don’t know why I feel like this, and I don’t know how to change it…. Merry Christmas.