A what-the-hell attitude is not something I have at the moment.

It’s something I’ve always struggled with, approaching situations with a reckless abandon. I’m a planner, I’m a rigid, focused, somewhat meticulous, occasional perfectionist. I can also be one of the laziest motherfuckers you’ll ever meet. I like doing things all out or not at all… which is often my downfall.

At work, I have to come up with an amuse bouche. I have millions and millions of ideas swirling around in my head and I have the skill and the knowledge to execute them, but I get in the kitchen and have to present it to my chef and I freeze.

I get nervous, I get anxious, I feel scared and embarrassed and like I’m a big stupid dumb dumb.

I need confidence, I need the what-the-hell attitude. I know I’m a great cook and I know that this is the right place for me. I know that this is what I’m meant to be doing but I’ll never be successful if I can’t put out my ideas with confidence and conviction.

I need to channel my inner Julia Child.

xx B


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