Getting “Gilmore’d”

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I’m not going to lie, I started watching the Gilmore Girls revival about 10 minutes after it was released. I watched half of the first episode before I realized that my delicate brain would not be able to handle 90 minutes of Gilmore Girls and 2 hours of sleep before a 7am shift.

Here I am, 15 hours later 3/4 through the revival, and I can’t help but to relate with Rory. Don’t worry – no spoilers, it’s everything you’ve seen in the trailers. The once self-assured, composed, go getter Rory is lost without a plan, without a clear direction, and without her underwear.

She’s 32, I’m only 24. But I can feel her pain. The struggle to find your place in this mad crazy world. I feel like I have a direction, and a plan. But what if somehow I find out I’m not good enough for this particular path. Last week I posted about Confidence, and this is exactly my issue.

I’m at a slightly pivotal point in my life right now, trying to decide how far I’m going to go in my career, how much I’m going to push, which sacrifices I’m going to make. I guess what I’m saying is I understand Rory. I understand seeing everyone around you triumph while you struggle. I understand seeing your friends establish lives and families and lay groundwork while you struggle.

I’m hoping, as always, that Gilmore Girls will remind me that through our struggles and our fears, life will have a funny way of working out. And I’m hoping that one day, I’ll ‘Gilmore’ myself.

xx B

Confidence

A what-the-hell attitude is not something I have at the moment.

It’s something I’ve always struggled with, approaching situations with a reckless abandon. I’m a planner, I’m a rigid, focused, somewhat meticulous, occasional perfectionist. I can also be one of the laziest motherfuckers you’ll ever meet. I like doing things all out or not at all… which is often my downfall.

At work, I have to come up with an amuse bouche. I have millions and millions of ideas swirling around in my head and I have the skill and the knowledge to execute them, but I get in the kitchen and have to present it to my chef and I freeze.

I get nervous, I get anxious, I feel scared and embarrassed and like I’m a big stupid dumb dumb.

I need confidence, I need the what-the-hell attitude. I know I’m a great cook and I know that this is the right place for me. I know that this is what I’m meant to be doing but I’ll never be successful if I can’t put out my ideas with confidence and conviction.

I need to channel my inner Julia Child.

xx B

Whistler!

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Sooooo, I moved to Whistler. I’m sorry Banff, I’ve cheated on you with a different mountain (or two). I loved Banff, and I loved my job and my friends and my mountains… but it was time for a change.

So here I am! I moved in with my boyfriend, D. He’s super duper sweet, but I’m still not sure about this whole living together thing. Don’t tell him though!

Right now we’re broke AF. Seriously. Like back to this post on how much money sucks broke. Living on mr. noodles and boxes of cereal. I’ve even been drinking real milk because I can’t afford almond milk… my poor tummy.

Today we finally got wifi, and it’s so so nice to be re-connected to the world without feeling like I’m going to drop all my non-existent $$ on the world’s biggest phone bill (come at me overseas roaming charges).

I can’t wait for the snow to start falling… the mountain is supposed to be open on the 24th but it’s the 16th and the mountain looks nothing like it does in that beautiful picture. It’ll help me out sooo much, because right now I hate being broke, my job sucks…

Anyways… life rant over. I’ll be here a lot more frequently, I’m not gonna lie I might not have been blogging because my zxcv keys on my keyboard were broken… makes it a bit difficult to type in cohesive sentences.

xo B