I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my life, and they way I want it to be. Long story short, I realized that something was missing in my relationship, I realized I needed to fall in love with myself before I could offer myself to someone else, and I realized that I needed to leave Australia.
It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make.
Today marks 2 years since I first step foot in Australia. 2 years since I came face to face with the man who would become my everything.. until he wasn’t. 2 years since I started my crazy adventure in the land down under. Today is a hard day to face. 2 years ago I was so full of possibility, so full of excitement, joy, and hope. Today I have a heavy heart. I’m so much more aware of my own faults, and I know that you can’t run away from everything. I know that nothing comes easy, and you have to work at what you want.
But I’ve also learned that it’s ok to not be ok.
It’s ok to be sad, lonely, lost, and confused. It’s ok to turn back to the people who you love, and accept their support. It’s ok to cut out people who don’t support you, to get rid of negative energy. It’s ok to waste time watching bad movies on Netflix or to throw yourself into your work. I’m learning that it’s ok to have a bad day or two. I’m learning that I don’t have to put a smile on my face just because no one wants to see me sad. I’m learning to open myself up a little more and let people around see when I’m hurt. It’s not ok to hide inside of yourself. It’s not ok to build walls to keep people out.
But it’s ok to not be ok.
silly selfies c/o my webcam because what is a personal post without hilarious photos of me?